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Before & After

July 15, 2010

Before PPD:

  • Confident
  • Outgoing
  • Talkative
  • Social
  • Content
  • Adventurous
  • Determined
  • Positive

After PPD:

  • Self-conscious
  • Poor self esteem
  • Introverted
  • Socially anxious (maybe)
  • Shy
  • Unsettled
  • Cautious
  • Negative/unsure

Now:  ?

I was someone else entirely before PPD.

I know that every woman is different in some way when comparing life before baby to life after baby, but with PPD involved, it’s a whole different ballgame.

Now I am left trying to decipher if my feelings, thoughts, or objectives are the PPD resurfacing and talking, or if it’s my true self; my post-PPD, post-baby self.

It is so complicated.

I wish someone could explain it to me, in black and white, so I knew the answer.  Is there even an answer?  Or is it gray and that is all it will ever be?

So confusing!!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 16, 2010 4:58 am

    This is a very tricky subject indeed.
    I think that PPD does change us however, I think it builds on our character rather than taking away. If you Look at your fight do you not see how strong, and brave, and determined you were? How much confidence you had when you asked for help?
    You, we are still beneath that dark shroud of PPD. The old we. However, our old selves went through a horrific illness and I think anyone who experienced it would be changed.
    Today, when PPD doesn’t have me by the balls I am more confident, I am more hopeful, I know that I am strong, my voice is strong. I have learned what matters most to me and my happiness and I embrace it.
    Look back at your fight, you’re still there, only your improving.

    • July 16, 2010 8:44 am

      True….. I need to see it as I’m a new & improved, strong version since PPD struck.

      Thanks for commenting, btw.. Considering you’re the ONLY one to do so. I feel embarrassed! LoL I promise I have *friends*! LoLoL

  2. July 19, 2010 8:30 am

    You’re so silly!! 🙂

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