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Do As I Say, Not As I Do

April 28, 2011

I am telling you right now that I am going against a HUGE rule. A rule I don’t recommend anyone break. & that means YOU. Listen to what I’m saying more than to what I’m doing, because I am not YOU, your doctor, your psychiatrist, or even your mother.

So there’s my disclaimer. Need to read it one more time? Go ahead. I’ll wait.

I mentioned in a previous post that I was thinking about firing my therapist. She was rude. And didn’t seem very helpful anyway, to be honest. I wanted to like her. I wanted her to be helpful and great. She just wasn’t. Despite my efforts or wants. So I think I’m done with her. I haven’t talked to her since my last posting of it. And I don’t plan to. Bam.

Around the same time that I started thinking about firing my therapist, I also started considering some homeopathic ways of treating some of my MANY, many issues. Specifically, my ruthless and outta control PCOS. For those that don’t know, PCOS=polycystic ovarian syndrome. It is well-known for its causing problems with fertility, but there are many other problems it causes besides that. And I have them all now. Excess hair growth, especially on the face & retaining weight are my top two enemies, though.

I’ve tried traditional methods/medicine to treat it and it just isn’t helping. I even met with a physician that I thought specialized in treating hormones. Come to find out, he didn’t specialize in anything, really. Nice, huh? He put me on bioidentical progesterone supplementation, which stopped my constant hot flashing. For that, I am ever so grateful. (constant hot flashes should NOT be happening to a 31 year old, ya’ll!)

So for these reasons, I revisited homeopathic stuff. I figure that I’ve given the professionals a chance so now it’s my turn.

So like dominoes, one thing has led to another, which has led to another. . . You get the point.

Which now takes me to the whole “do as I say, not as I do” thing-a-ma-jig.

Since I’ve felt for a long while that my meds aren’t working for PCOS, I also have felt that my meds for my mental illness aren’t working. I brought it up to my therapist many a time, and she brushed it off. Instead of agreeing that we try something else, she wanted to add Abilify. I didn’t want to just pile on another medication, so I kindly rejected the offer. Then, after more discussion with her about being dissatisfied, and after her suggesting Abilify over and over, I gave in. Abilify worked well for the first week. I loved it. I loved her for pushing it so much. I was on cloud 9! Or even 10! LoL But after that first week, I was back to below baseline. How discouraging. I brought it up to her again and she just wasn’t addressing it. See what I mean about her sucking? I don’t make this stuff up, ya’ll.

So I’ve decided to wean myself off of the two antidepressants I’ve been taking since August 2008. I’m confident there are others that can work better. I’ve seen it happen before and I’m determined to get there again. But that starts with a big wean. And weaning off of one in particular is known to be brutal. I will then work with my primary care doctor to get on some different antidepressants and go from there. He is really good at knowing the different antidepressants. He is really good at his job period. In fact, I met this dr at one of my lowest points ever. It was 2004 and I was in the throes of my PPD. I was seeing a therapist, but like this recent one, she was complacent. My meds weren’t working, but I was so new to the whole “off my rocker” thing that I didn’t pursue better care for myself. This dr was at an Instant Medical Clinic Place and upon seeing the meds I was taking, we got to talking. He switched my meds that night and I felt results within days. I’ve been a patient of his ever since. He’s the bomb, ya’ll.

*disclaimer #2; it is super duper rare to feel any improvement after just days of starting a new antidepressant, so don’t count on it and don’t feel lame or discouraged if it doesn’t happen to you

So that’s my plan for now. I am on the least amount I can be on with both antidepressants. Essentially, I’m on the ledge, waiting to feel ready enough to jump. I expect to stop taking these pricey buggars next week sometime.

Next week, I will also being accupuncture for my chronic back pain and for my depression and anxiety. Another new medical provider to add to my mix.

Next week, I will also be adding 10 new vitamins, herbs, and mineral supplements to my regimen. Yes, 10 different ones. And those are in addition to the other pills I take for chronic pain. I don’t know how I’ll possibly fit all these pills into a 24 hour period, but I will do it. I have a little pill organizer that allows me to seperate them all into a week at a time.

As scary as it can be to wean off of these lifejackets, as I call them, it is also somewhat empowering and refreshing. I am feeling some positive effects of lowering my dose, and I am keeping fingers crossed that I continue to feel as good as I do now. Emotionally and physically. For one thing, my mind is more clear and I have slightly more energy. You see, one of the meds is known for causing fatigue and a foggy mind. Those two effects weren’t fun, ya’ll.

Wish me luck!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 29, 2011 6:39 am

    Oh bless you sweetie. I know what it’s like to desperately stretch that arm out in search of something new. I’m there now. Im glad that your doctor is watching you closely.
    I believe that vitamins and minerals help…our body craves and needs them. I hope that they work for you love 😉

  2. April 29, 2011 7:57 am

    Thanks, friend.

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