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Worn Out

August 30, 2012

I’ve been worn out.

Between the chronic pain & mental health issues, this year has been my toughest in a lot of ways.

I go 4-5 days between showers. I only wear makeup if I need to. My definition of need is involving meeting e/one of my kids’ teachers, going on a date-night (which hasn’t happened for a long time), etc.

I’ve gained a ton of weight since the auto accident and can’t believe how much it’s affected my self esteem. I’ve been doing things to try a reclaim some sort of health from my insides, out. I’ve been cleansing my body of certain pain meds that cause/retain weight gain and eating ‘cleaner’. Since early July, I’ve lost 12 lbs, so it’s finally moving in the right direction.

My marriage is really disconnected right now, probably a combo of stress in our life at the moment, both of us having poor self esteem, and dh experiencing his own depression. He won’t do anything about it, apparently. Whatev.

I used to be attractive, which meant thin & healthy, trendy, makeup as part of my routine, smiling a lot.

Now I’m just worn out.

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